My Life, my soul and those unutilized experiences.

My Life, my soul and those unutilized experiences.

I’m very happy today. My experience has count another year. Well I can see everything that’s happening around me. Sonali is already 23 and she is the most beautiful girl on this globe. Subh is happy with her own family. My mom is already 74 and her blood pressure is never under control. How many times I must have told her in the last 30 years to do take care of her food habits but still she is the same. My papa, Mr. Alok Kumar has retired from his bank managerial post but he has also got a promotion from an angry young man to an angry old man. Fifty years of my life has been a long story. There have been many twists in my life. I have learnt many things and gained lots of experience from those turnarounds.

My family was one of the happiest families. I still remember the get together we usually had. Nanaji, Mausaji, Foofaji all came together and with their families. Most memorable was my cousin Amol, trying to learn Sanskrit to make an impact on his college’s Sanskrit department HOD, as he loved the HOD’s daughter. I was 15 then, when it started and even now Amol is still trying to learn Sanskrit as the HOD’s daughter is a widow and Amol is still the sweet bachelor. I wish he learns Sanskrit soon. I also feel that Amol may end his life’s quota being a virgin and I doubt if anything can happen at this age of his.

Those were the golden years of our family get together, when I was around 15 and how can I forget to speak about the most beautiful young girl, Sonali. Everybody loved her redolence, her caring nature. She had some special bond with me as she was my sweet little sister. Those words of her, “Thank you, bhaiya. Look I have stood first in the competition. My poem was very much appreciated and that’s because of your suggestion.” That was her first award and even her last.

Suddenly one day, all the counts of happiness in our family were decremented. It was on her way to school that her bus met an accident. Many students died in the accident and many got seriously injured. Sonali was one of those seriously injured. It was my 1^st memory of a visit to a hospital. The crappy medicinal smell, every corridor of the hospital smelled as if someone had poured out the entire 200Ml of rectified spirit. I thought it was my 1^st visit to a hospital as I didn’t remember how the hospital looked and smelled when I had first winked at a nurse and that too being completely naked.

When we reached Sonali’s room, it was one of the most excruciating moments of my life. I thought I couldn’t see her like this. She was patched white all over her body and no more she looked the same beautiful. Everyone of my family went one by one to talk to her and calm her but I couldn’t gather strength to talk to her. But she called me, “Bhaiya”. Her voice suggested the pain she was enduring but it sounded with the same affection we had. She pointed everyone else to leave the room as she wanted to talk to me all alone. Then she said something that took me by surprise and disbelief. She said, “Don’t cry bhaiya, I will come back to you. I’m just going for a holiday for a few years and this globe will again be kissed by me being born to Rita mausi”. “Rita mausi”, that name sounded too familiar. And, yes she was my mom’s cousin whom everyone hated in my family because it was said she had lots of affairs and she was only two years older than me. I never believed Sonali in her concept of reincarnation. But Sonali had never lied to me ever. So, I placed my hands around her hand and said, “You are lying to me as I have not permitted you to go for a holiday”. But then there were her last words as she said, “No, bhaiya. I have never lied to you and this is truth. Bye, love you and miss you”. She did close her eyes forever after that.

Everyone completely broke in our family and don’t ask me what was my situation. Days passed by and there were no more get together and I finally joined college with Accounting honours. That was the period when I gathered my smile once again. Friends, college life and my love; it was the 1^st time I saw Subh. She was gorgeous, fashionable and was always with a smile on her visage. I don’t know what was happening but I was gaining my weakness towards her. Later after one year of my college life I was able to talk to her. We then had been very close to each other and understood each other. One day I proposed her and she did agreed to it. Then I got my status changed to the so called heavily questioned word “committed”. Our college life passed away and we both joined the same banking sector. Later one day gathering strength we were both able to convince our parents for our marriage. Now both the families were close to each other and happy together. Our marriage dates were to be decided but that idiot Pandit said that our marriage can be held after 3 years. I wished papa could have paid that idiot a little more and brought the dates closer or I doubted if that vulnerable creature was satisfied the last night. Anyways everything was fine as happiness had again poured back to my family.

Suddenly, one day we had an invitation, Rita mausi was getting married. Along with the happiness of our family a reminder clicked my memory. I remembered those last words of Sonali. I got excited as it was time to meet my beloved sister once again. After Rita mausi’s marriage, I came much closer to her. I always helped her and all her required jobs were done by me more rather than her husband. My family thought that Rita mausi was trying to get me into trouble and she was back to form but no one knew the truth. They tried to avoid me from getting closer to Rita mausi but all their efforts went in vain. Then one day she got pregnant, rather being happy, most of my family members stared at me as if I was the criminal. But the news was one of the happiest moments of my life. Sonali is back and I will meet her soon. Then, I told everything to my family what Sonali had said to me during her last few minutes. Thereafter I was saved from those starring. From that day, everybody started taking intensive care of Rita mausi. She must have thought it was her golden period of her life or must have pinched herself most of the times thinking she was dreaming.

Finally the day arrived, Sonali was to be born. Rita mausi was taken to the hospital and I went to buy Sonali’s favourite “Gulab jamuns” for all. I then got a call on my cell phone. It was papa, he was 1^st to inform me about the good news. I was too much keyed up and my car was parked the other side of the road. I had to cross the road but in the excitement I did a mistake of not concentrating while crossing the road. A truck did hit me from the other side and my body deleted its soul from it forever. I was unable to touch Sonali but my soul always guided her and felt her. That was the period when my family was filled with happiness and grief stricken all at one go. I lost my life, my family, my love but one thing I couldn’t lose was my soul. Days passed by, my soul saw Sonali grow up and even Subh had gathered strength and was married to a very good man. Everyone is happy and it is what always made me happier.

Today is my 50^th birthday and Sonali has organized a party for it. Everybody is invited and there will be another get together in our family after a long period. Fifty years of my life has been a long story. There have been many twists in my life. I have learnt many things and gained lots of experience from those turnarounds. But never was able to utilize those experiences though.